Remember Me [Do not shed tears when I have gone but smile instead because I have lived]

Poem

Remember Me

Do not shed tears when I have gone but smile instead because I have lived.

Do not shut your eyes and pray to God that I'll come back but open your eyes and see all that I have left behind.

I know your heart will be empty because you cannot see me but still I want you to be full of the love we shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live only for yesterday or you can be happy for tomorrow because of what happened between us yesterday.

You can remember me and grieve that I have gone or you can cherish my memory and let it live on.

You can cry and lose yourself, become distraught and turn your back on the world or you can do what I want - smile, wipe away the tears, learn to love again and go on.


-- David Harkins--

The version from the Queen Mother’s funeral was edited from the original prose version to better suit a funeral poem.

She is Gone (version from Queen Mother's funeral)

You can shed tears that she is gone
or you can smile because she has lived.

You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back
or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.

You heart can be empty because you can't see her
or you can be full of the love you shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember her and only that she's gone
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
or you can do what she'd want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.


-- David Harkins, with anonymous edits--

This version is also often edited to replace “she” with “he”.

He is Gone (he/him edited version from Queen Mother's funeral)

You can shed tears that he is gone
or you can smile because he has lived.

You can close your eyes and pray that he'll come back
or you can open your eyes and see all he's left.

You heart can be empty because you can't see him
or you can be full of the love you shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember him and only that he's gone
or you can cherish his memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
or you can do what he'd want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.


-- David Harkins, with anonymous edits--

About

The poem was originally written about unrequited love, rather than death. While it was written in March 1982, it gained in popularity after a version of it appeared anonymously at the funeral of the Queen Mother in 2002.

A very similar poem was included in the preface to the Queen Mother’s funeral in April 9, 2002, and was credited to “Anon” at the time. It was read by the Queen.

While investigations had been made into its origin, no author could be determined prior to the funeral service. Apparently the Queen had discovered the poem from the order of service for the funeral of the Dowager Viscountess De L’Isle.

Following the reading of the poem a nationwide search developed to find its author. After several false attributions, including Immanuel Kant and Joyce Grenfell, later in 2002 it emerged that David Harkins was the true author. It is not known how the various edits to the original were made.

Author

David Harkins was born in November 14, 1958 in Cumbria, England. He is a painter and poet, having previously worked as a baker, factory worker and motorway service station cleaner. In 1985 he was fired for stealing a loaf of bread and was without work for the next two years.

He would continue painting, but gave up writing in 1987. Harkin’s authorship of the famous poem became public in September 2002 when it was published in the News & Star, his local paper.

Other Remember Me Funeral Poems

• Remember Me [with smiles and laughter]
  • By Michael Landon, often attributed to Laura Ingalls Wilder
  • From Little House on the Prairie TV show
• Remember Me [To the living, I am gone]
  • By Margaret Mead
• Remember Me [speak of me as you always have done]
  • By Anthony Dowson
• Remember [me when I have gone away]
  • By Christina Rossetti